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It feels like it was only yesterday that I was writing about the Olympics just ready to get underway. And then – as quickly as the runners in the track & field events – the Games were over.

I didn’t get to watch as much as I wanted to, thanks to the poor reception of my over-the-air antenna at home and my impatience with trying to figure out the streaming options. But I did catch a few events – I got entirely too invested in road cycling for about an hour one Saturday, for example – and I certainly read a lot of the interesting stories that unfolded over the past two weeks, from inspiring wins and well-deserved retirements to heartbreaking losses at the last second. There was even a really cute story about a Norwegian swimmer who developed a love for the chocolate muffins in the Olympic Village food court. (Apparently the muffins were in high demand once he spread the word on how good they were.)

For anyone who’s been closely following the Olympic Games the past few weeks, it probably feels a bit like there’s a void to fill now. You can’t tune into the around-the-clock Olympic sports coverage anymore, and the Paralympics don’t begin until August 28.

Part of the Olympic appeal is that you get a chance to watch sports you don’t usually see when you flip on your TV. You pretty much only get to watch canoe racing, shotput, synchronized swimming, handball, and the like once every four years. This year, the Olympics even featured a breakdancing competition. But it probably won’t be included in the 2028 Games.

New sports being added instead to the 2028 lineup include baseball/softball, cricket, flag football, lacrosse, and squash.

Yes, that’s right! Even squash! Which remains one of the funniest names for a sport, in my opinion.

Because I’ve still got Olympics on the brain and I’ve been thinking about newly-added Olympic sports, I’ve had some fun this week imagining what it would be like if the Olympics were held right here in the Roanoke-Chowan area and what kind of localized sports we could add to the Games too.

Here are a few silly ones I came up with:

Tractoring: a sport that would test how well someone can operate a tractor. Participants would have to drive a tractor around an obstacle course (perhaps similar to some equestrian events) and make sure they don’t accidentally knock over a mailbox or slide off a narrow road into a ditch.

There would be different divisions for different kinds of tractors. A small bushhog after all is a bit different to drive than a massive grain combine. This event would require careful precision and a lot of patience!

For an added bonus, perhaps another aspect of the competition would require participants to figure out how to keep their tractor going despite mechanical failures. The more creative solution, the more points you get.

Backroad Routing: a sport where the competitors have to find the best, quickest backroad route to a city outside of our area, such as Greenville or Rocky Mount or Suffolk. We all know the easiest way to get to these places is by the highway, so the challenge is to find a more scenic – but still convenient – route.

Participants would have to be really good at remembering road names or reading maps. No GPS allowed! I think plenty of people around here would be champions at this particular competition. There’s always a shortcut to be found somewhere!

Door Holding: a sport where you simply hold the door open for people. A classic bit of Southern hospitality turned into a competition.

This isn’t a race for speed like many track and field events. I imagine that Door Holding would be more like gymnastics, where participants are judged on their form. They get points for how wide they open the door, how many people they let pass through, and if they smile politely at the passersby and engage in a bit of small talk.

I feel like I would do quite well in this (imaginary) sport because I enjoy holding the door open for people when I can. It’s so easy to do, and it always feels nice to help someone out. And it doesn’t quite require the athletic skill and prowess (which I lack) that other sports do.

Cheerwine Chugging: the name is self-explanatory, but it’d be a sport where you compete to drink the most cheerwine in the fastest amount of time. This could be done with any soda, probably, but since this is North Carolina, we might as well use the one that’s specific to our state.

This competition would be akin to the hotdog eating contest on the Fourth of July, so the rules would be pretty easy to follow. Just drink as much as you can in the time allotted. (And hope the restrooms are free afterwards.)

Since I don’t drink soda at all, I’d skip trying to participate in this sport. But I’d definitely watch to see what would happen.

There are probably plenty more silly made-up Olympic sports that we could do locally, but these are just a few fun ideas I had.

No one’s going to be signing up for competitive Tractoring around here any time soon, but that doesn’t mean our little part of the state isn’t full of talented people. Who knows? Maybe one day we’ll see someone local competing in future Olympic Games… but in the real sports, of course!

Holly Taylor is a Staff Writer for Roanoke-Chowan Publications. Contact her at holly.taylor@r-cnews.com or at 252-332-7206.