The definition of fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or is a threat. Somewhat like a double edged sword for words, fear can be used as a noun or a verb.

Fear is something I’ve been thinking about for the past few months.

By definition, there is a need for fear. There are times it saves our lives by telling us this isn’t what we shouldn’t be doing.

It has a way of pulling us away from the edge, literally, or it can highlight priorities, personal and professional.

But fear also has a tendency to paralyze us from what we should be doing.

In the last few months I’ve decided to lessen fear in my life.

To be honest, for the past 31 years I’ve been fearful of this and that; what will happen? What won’t happen?

I never understood it was a problem until recently. I realized I had been living my life in fear and I was tired of it. I knew it wasn’t a way for anyone to live their life. So why was it okay for me?

Fear had kept me down long enough. It had stifled me from feeling what I should have felt. It kept me from saying what I wanted to say. Most of all, it stopped me from standing up for myself.

Making changes on both a personal and spiritual level have helped tremendously, more than I would have ever thought.

It’s been a process, one I’m still working on and dealing with the different emotional facets that are rooted in fear.

During this process I’ve come to understand a huge problem in our society. There’s a deep rooted, internalize fear that a lot of us carry around. I’ve decided it’s an unseen epidemic, one nobody wants to wrangle.

When you have all this fear inside, the one thing that is lost the lack of self expression; the person who you are is lost in the muck and mire life launches your way.

I guess in reality this gives way to fakeness and there’s this notion you have to be perfect. And if there’s one thing that will always stay with me in what I have learned thus far, is no one is perfect and that is okay.

Perfection is not achievable, but being yourself and doing what is right is very attainable.

I’ve looked at this process I’m going through as a journey, as a time I can grow, get to know myself a little better and show myself a little compassion.

I’m not where I want to be yet, but as of now I’m happy with where I stand and that’s all I can ask for.

Amanda VanDerBroek is a Staff Writer for the Roanoke-Chowan News-Herald. For comments and column suggestions email: amanda.vanderbroek@r-cnews.com or call (252) 332-7209.