Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...

We’ve published a countless number of front page articles over the years regarding yahoos who think – okay, maybe they aren’t using their noggins – their vehicles are identical to those operated by NASCAR drivers.

These folks are dumber than the idiots who put fire departments, rescue squads and law enforcement on edge by calling in a bomb threat. However, these yo-yo heads are much more dangerous than the sickos who inflict their measure of terror by punching buttons on a telephone.

When they are in the act of committing their crime, they put innocent victims in harms way – the harm coming in the form of a 1,000-pound-plus vehicle barreling down the highway at breakneck speeds in an effort to elude law enforcement.

What on Earth are these people thinking about? Not unless their vehicles are equipped with some sort of turbo booster, they have as much of a chance at outrunning the police as I have in winning a muscle man contest. Even if they succeed in their mission to travel faster than the blue lights behind them, they still have to deal with the old saying – “you can run, but you can’t hide.”

By the time the chase initiates, law enforcement will have the make, model and license plate number of the vehicle in question. They’ll wind-up knowing more about the driver than the driver will know about him or herself.

But yet the chasee still thinks that by depressing the right-side pedal until his or her toes touch the radiator, they will elude the law. Apparently, they’ve never heard of the “long arm of the law.” Simple communications between the chase vehicles will eventually lead to a victory over injustice.

However, there are other players in this chase scenario – ordinary citizens innocently on their way to the grocery store, the doctor’s office, church or en route to grandma’s house for a big plate of fried chicken and mashed ‘taters. In other words, motorists obeying the rules of the road while acting out their daily lives may wind-up being the victims of some idiot behind the wheel.

It’s been 20 or so years ago, but there was a local woman who sped away after police attempted to stop her vehicle due to an expired tag. Two counties and over 100 miles per hour later, she wrecked in Rich Square. Her trek included a jaunt down Pinetops Road, an extremely curvy strip of asphalt dotted with homes on both sides.

What would have happened if some innocent soul were backing out of their driveway on their way to church? What would have happened if some young man, on his way home after stealing a kiss at his girlfriend’s house, popped around a curve and came face-to-face with this reckless driver? I’ll tell you what would have happened – we would have families grieving over the loss of a loved one. And for what? A person attempting to outrun the police because they were too worthless to have the plates on their vehicle renewed.

A recall another local driver who led law enforcement on yet another two-county chase after they blew through a license checkpoint just outside of Ahoskie. The driver finally “ran out of road” after keeping straight in Colerain, a two-lane blacktop that ends at the Chowan River. And why did they attempt to avoid the police? Apparently, they had taken a nip or two as they were charged with DWI among other things.

Gee, that’s all we need, a drunk trying to outrun the police.

There are more and more stories I could share about these yo-yos, but the limited space here doesn’t allow it.

Instead, I’ll use the short space remaining to impart of bit of simple advice – if you’re too lazy to get your plates updated or too stupid to drive after drinking, then take a pair of scissors, cut your license in half, sell your car and stay off the road. They’re for law-abiding folks.

Cal Bryant is the Editor of Roanoke-Chowan Publications. Contact him at cal.bryant@r-cnews.com or 252-332-7207.